On August 31, 2013 I became Mrs. Arianne Armstrong. It was truly and unexpectedly the best day of my life! None of my limiting beliefs, or stresses in life popped into this day whatsoever. It was truly magical!
As amazing as that day was, the months preceding it, were not always so wonderful. As expressed in previous blog posts, I experienced that wedding planning came along with high anxiety and stress level for me.
When I first became engaged I told myself that I was not going to become Bridezilla, or one of those brides that gets so stressed out over every little detail. Well, my intentions were good: I’m not sure about the whole Bridezilla part (you’ll have to ask my family and friends about that) but I did, in fact, become the ‘stressed out bride’!
On top of an already busy schedule, planning a wedding was a lot more work than I had ever imagined. Now, I’m not a person that likes little details (unless it’s about my clients & my professional work) but OMG- the details that have to go into planning a wedding is mind blowing!
My fiance and I wanted a simple, earthy-elegant wedding: nothing extravagant, no bling, and definitely not traditional. We wanted our wedding to ooze our personalities, characters, and values, as both a couple, and as individuals.
In order for all of those things to happen, let’s face it, you have to PLAN and make decisions and do projects. At one point I knew that these things, and expectations (of my own) had gotten out of hand.
I felt so overwhelmed that I honestly felt drained, and exhausted all of the time.
One morning I came downstairs, saw that I had to empty the dishwasher before I could start my work day (one more thing on my To Do list) and I crumpled into a ball in the corner of my kitchen floor sobbing. I realized that I secretly couldn’t wait for the big day to be over!
Was this how it was supposed to be? I didn’t see pictures of haggard looking brides sobbing in the fetal position in bridal magazines! What was I doing wrong?
I was beyond exhausted, and couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted so badly to marry my fiancé, but did we really need to plan a wedding with 90 people invited, and have flowers, and decorations, and projects etc etc?
Couldn’t we just elope?
I started asking myself ‘What was the point of this’? How is this even worth it? All of the planning, managing other’s expectations that they put on you- for what? So that you could just wish the day away?”
It didn’t seem fair, and I just didn’t get it! Something was not aligning, and I wanted so badly to figure out what needed to change. So, I took a step back (and a few deep breaths) and looked at the big picture.
I was going to marry the man of my dreams (sorry ladies- he’s taken!), my best friend, and my Soulmate. What did that feel like? Well, it felt beautiful, soft, relaxed, precious, supportive, honest, intimate, and it took my breath away.
When I allowed my heart to take over it was absolute bliss! All of the projects, decisions, details, limiting beliefs, and stresses in life melted away, and I was left with this gift that I wanted to embrace.
Now, I had to remind myself of this numerous times until the actual wedding day arrived, but I didn’t allow myself to get completely lost in the details or chaos. I wanted to enjoy each step of the way.
And, on our wedding day we experienced love, beauty, and intimacy with 90 loved ones attending.
With each breath that I took on August 31st it was filled with love: for myself, my new husband, and every person that played a part in supporting, and nurturing our relationship.
As I stood in my beautiful dress, with my beautiful bouquet, and the sun shining down on me, I listened, and waited with abated breath to walk down the isle (or in my case a partially gravel/paved road). I closed my eyes & allowed myself to feel the love- the intense love, from all of the people at our ceremony. I allowed that love to flow through me, and I knew that I had made the right decision to let go of the details, the stress and any expectation.
I couldn’t wait to look into those blue-hazel eyes, say my vows, marry my guy, and hold his hand until death do us part.
Since that very day I have felt so much gratitude for everything and everyone in my life. My husband and I look at the life that we’ve created with so much joy and happiness. It’s my wish that everyone experiences this feeling, and knows that they have the power to do the exact same.
Calgary Canada Life Coach Arianne Moore, founder of Path of Tranquility Life Coaching for Women, helps clients worldwide.