If you are over-riding your inner voice, the one that’s soft and nurturing, are you really doing your best?
How many times growing up did you hear the words ‘Just do your best’? Even as an adult I still hear that phrase being passed around. In fact, I often say it to my clients, but it’s never occurred to me until just recently to dive in and disect what that really means.
How do we really know what our best really is?
It seems to be a common theme these days: push yourself, harder, harder, harder, until you drop onto your bed at the end of the day exhausted! Is this your best? I guess some would say yes. I’m not sure I agree.Screen Shot 2014-10-23 at 8.06.17 AM
There’s such a diverse understanding of what someone’s ‘best’ is, that it can seem quite complex. It really comes down to each individuals idea, thought or feeling of what their best is.
It always comes back to that same question: how does one know what their best truly is. Our bodies and our minds are truly amazing and complex things. We have been built to overcome extreme pain, heartache, and tragedy. When someone experiences physical pain, our pain receptors will eventually start to shift that sensation to make it somewhat bearable. Talk to anyone who experiences chronic pain everyday and they’ll tell you, the body adapts- the pain sucks, but the body really does adapt so that it can still function. Our physical vehicles are quite amazing and intriguing with how they work. It’s actually quite beautiful.
So if our body is constantly adapting to all of the changes that we experience day in and day out, then how do we know what our ‘best’ is. What about the days when we carry a little bit of extra stress? Or the days where our bodies are telling us to rest and we push past our pain and exhaustion? Is that our best?
Sometimes I find it difficult to know what my best is. On days when I don’t feel my best, I have this voice in my head, telling me that I’m being lazy. ‘You can’t sit down for 10 minutes to rest your brain and body! That’s just being lazy! A mid-afternoon nap? Are you friggin’ nuts? You’re totally lazy if you do that! You hit the snooze button- you’re going to miss your 6am yoga class! Lazy ass!’
Does this nagging pushy inner voice sound vaguely familiar at all? How can we be sure of what our best is if we have this voice inside of our heads pushing us?
It can honestly be so confusing and frustrating but there is an answer to this.
Along with that loud and pushy voice sits a soft quiet one. It’s just so soft that you can barely hear it, and when you’re busy listening to the loud pushy voice it’s inaudible.
This is your inner voice, your true authentic self coming through. If you’re not sure what your best is- Ask! But make sure that you can take the time to hear the soft voice. What is it saying? Do you need to lay back a bit, stop pushing and struggling? Do you need to give yourself time to recover, rest and re-energize? The voice will always be nurturing, soft and feel right. That’s the most important thing to remember: it will feel like a soft blanket wrapping itself around you on a cold day. It will not put you in harms way. It will not push you past the point to pain. It will not be harsh, mean or judgmental. At times it might even nudge you along a little bit more, giving you comfort to move in a different direction with ease.
Your inner voice purrs like a kitten. When was the last time you heard yourself purr (if ever)?
It’s important to remember that your best will change from day to day. When we have an expectation that every day will be exactly like the last, we can actually be setting ourselves up for failure. Be curious as to what each day will bring. Be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to take breaks when you need it, and accept that your best does not mean pushing yourself to a point of exhaustion. That’s not authentic and it shuts down your inner voice.
If we all stopped to listen to our inner voice more often, can you imagine what the world would be like? What would your life be like? How would you show up more authentically and compassionately in your day? My challenge to you is to listen more to your inner voice and see what happens. I bet your best would be something completely different.
Calgary Canada Life Coach Arianne Moore-Armstrong, founder of Path of Tranquility Coaching for Women, helps clients worldwide. Arianne is also the founder of the Ultimate Belief Breakthrough Method™