Taking a vacation- sounds lovely right? Well when it comes to vacationing with my body image- it’s actually more like vacationing with the Griswold Family (from the vacation movies): total chaos.
This past week I’ve been visiting the beautiful place of Phoenix with my fiancé, on a much needed holiday.
We’ve been staying at a friends house (which is stunning), zipping around in a convertible Porsche (not good for my hair, but oh so much fun), basking in the sun, and shopping to our hearts content (not good for my bank account)
But there’s been one thing looming over me the whole time- my body image. I have struggled my whole life with my weight and more importantly, the perception of my body image.
Body image issues in women is all around us- and I am no different.
No matter what I’ve weighed or what size I’ve been (and trust me I have fluctuated over the years) I have not been able to just ‘be OK with where I’m at’.
My home residence is in Calgary, AB, Canada, and it is still fairly chilly there. Layers of clothing is even required at times. So when we got to Phoenix I had to take the layers off…. SO metaphoric!!
I physically had to take the layers of clothing off that I’ve been hiding behind for the 6 months of winter and show some skin. This has also caused the issues of my body image to unfold. My eyes were stinging from the layers of the onion being removed.
I would look in the mirror, wearing shorts and a tank top and cringe at the thought of going into public. What would others think? Would people judge me?
I even started to obsess about those that knew me- would they still love me if they saw me wearing this outfit? Would they think I was too fat to be their friend and/or family member? Should I cover up again?
Now, some people might call this vanity-but trust me on this- it’s an insecurity.
This is how desperate I got: I actually thought if I wore my winter jacket and a pair of pants with sandals, no one would look at me. Ha! Now that’s messed up!
After a few days of struggling with this I realized that wasn’t the answer- it wasn’t about what others thought about. What I really, truly needed to do was deal with the perception I had of my own body image.
When I was taking time to delve into this issue a chorus from one of the songs I listen to when I do yoga came to mind:
I bowed my head to God,
And God took all of me,
Every imperfection,
And God took all of me.
And every day,
God lives and breathes through me
Looking in the mirror,
I love you sweet God
Now, I’m not religious, nor am I trying to preach religion, but I am very spiritual, I believe in a Higher Power of some sort.
This above chorus can be broken down into (in my opinion) any belief system that you choose. But let me tell you what I get from it:
I am not perfect, in any way, shape or form (even in my winter parka and sandals). If I ‘let go’ of my imperfections and hand the worries of them to a ‘higher power’ I will be able to accept myself just as I am, in this very moment- and I will even love my imperfections.
Just writing that makes me smile and brings tears to my eyes: it allows a weight to be lifted.
I will love my imperfections…
..including my body image.
Learning to love yourself is a journey, and sometimes the road can get a little bumpy, but if you choose to buckle up and trust that you’re going to be ok- then the stresses in life, such as a poor body image, can really be one of the greatest experiences you can learn from.
It’s not always going to be easy but being ok with my body image and learning to love the imperfections is a part of this journey that I want to embrace rather than hide from.
Especially if it means NOT having heat stroke from wearing my winter clothes in the heat.
Calgary Canada Life Coach Arianne Moore, founder of Path of Tranquility Life Coaching for Women, helps clients worldwide.