How many times have you failed at something and the negative self talk, those pesky limiting beliefs, are there to drag you down even further?
Talking about failure seems to be such a taboo subject. Even as I’m writing this I feel a little uneasy and a heaviness sits in my heart. Which tells me I’m not comfortable with the subject either. The discomfort makes me want to replace every ‘failure’ in thisScreen Shot 2014-11-18 at 12.45.45 PM blog post to ‘not-succeeding’. For that simple reason I will be pushing my own limits and writing the word ‘failure’ as much as possible…. so bear with me here.
There are a few definitions of failing on the internet but the one that I’m talking about is where we try to succeed at something: a goal: a desired outcome, and it doesn’t turn out the way we visioned or hoped.
There’s this stigma and limiting belief that also rides joyously along with failing….. that it’s bad or wrong to fail! Ick! My stomach just jumped into my chest.
How often do we lovingly accept our failures as signs that we just need to expand a bit more? When was the last time you said “Yay! I failed at that!”? Um, my guess is probably never. I can honestly say that I have never been proud of my failures, in fact I have rarely lovingly accepted my failures as being ok. Can you relate? Maybe just a little?
What does failing or failure really mean? Let’s look beyond the definition.
What if failing at something meant that we were human. Everybody on some level, at some time or another fails at something. They (failures) come in big and small packages, but no matter the size the same limiting belief can be triggered. We try to hide our failures from others. We feel ashamed that we haven’t succeeded. We beat ourselves up because we listen to those crappy limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.
Well, I’m here to give you some relief, should you choose to accept it: failure also allows room for growth. If you succeeded at everything where would the lessons be? Where would your own expansion come from? How could you look at the circle and realize that perhaps the square might not fit inside? These are all human experiences.
Technology did not advance itself based solely on the success of previous technology. Instead, companies would dissect what didn’t work well, so that they could focus on what could work better! Is that a failure? Well, the fact that I’m typing this from a coffee shop using wi-fi on my laptop, while checking email at the same time would suggest otherwise.
Now, I’m not saying that you should seek failure, or stop dreaming or reaching for your goals. Absolutely not! I’m saying be kind to yourself when life doesn’t go exactly as planned. Continue to reach for the stars and if you find that you’re just short touching the tip, that’s OK! You’re human.
I’m sure that with every goal you try to reach, every milestone that you want to celebrate, there are successful components woven throughout. Celebrate them!
This is your mission should you choose to accept it. The next time that consider yourself failing at something be kind to yourself. Lovingly accept this as being human and ask what lesson to take away. How does this make you as human as the next person? And how can you compassionately embrace the outcome that you have, instead of berating yourself for the outcome you didn’t get?
There’s one more HUGE component to my subject on failing, which I’ll share with you next week. I wanted to start off with the ‘human’ aspect of failing before I venture into the ‘connected’ part of it. So, until then continue to embrace every part of your human-ness!
Calgary Canada Life Coach Arianne Moore-Armstrong, founder of Path of Tranquility Coaching for Women, helps clients worldwide. Arianne is also the founder of the Ultimate Belief Breakthrough Method™