Last week I decided to go back to school, and it was one of the easiest decisions I had made in a long time, but I was filled with so much anxiety. Allowing myself to think about what it meant to go back to school was exciting, but I had this pressure in my chest and I noticed it was hard to take a deep breath. I used to think when we had such feelings it meant the decision was the wrong one for us. However, I’ve since learned that there is always something underneath those emotions and feelings. My body was telling me a story and, it was my job to listen. As I brought my attention to my heart center where I was experiencing this feeling of panic (my heart was racing, and my chest felt pressure on it as though someone were standing on my breastbone), I started to be curious as to what was really going on underneath that anxiety. What was the anxiety trying to say to me?
Some of the self-talk went like this: ‘You can’t do this. You have no time. You won’t finish it’. Then this doozy hit me: ‘If you fail at this it will mean you’re a failure in life.’
Well, holy sh*t! Who would want that sort of pressure?
No wonder my body was in a state of fight or flight. With that thought running in the background it made sense I would feel anxious about starting this next chapter. When I realized this limiting belief was at the core of my anxiety I had the free-will to decide whether or not I wanted to believe in it! I could choose to think of myself as a failure or I could look at all of the amazing things that I have already succeeded at. It was a no-brainer.
When we have a limiting belief of any sort, we tend to look for evidence to support it’s truth. When we feed into that evidence, we start to make decisions based from a place of fear rather than love. I know I’ve mentioned this a thousand times before but it needs to be said again; at any given moment we can choose fear or we can choose love. Sometimes choosing fear may feel more familiar but it’s a place in which we suffer. When we step into love it may feel foreign at first, but it will always bring you home to that beautiful place of living authentically.
Trust me when I say I’ve struggled in this arena many, many times before, and I still do! I have often fed into the limiting beliefs that were running through my mind. The beautiful thing about being human is we have the capacity and ability to dive into our toolbox, pull out a tool, and make change. I encourage you to be curious about what’s going on inside of you. Without awareness, change can’t happen. If you’re willing to dabble into the ‘unknown’ and find out what’s really going on underneath any anxiety here are 5 steps that can help you along with way.
1. Notice the feeling. Sit with it even if it’s uncomfortable. What’s underneath the anxiety? Sadness, grief, etc.
2. What is the limiting belief underneath the feeling? Ask yourself ‘what is this feeling telling me right now? What do I believing about myself at this moment? Unlocking and acknowledging the beliefs you have about yourself is key to making a correction.
3. Is it true? NO!!! Once you know what your limiting belief is you have the power to kick it to the curb. By saying NO, you are choosing love and believing something more loving about yourself. Limiting beliefs are there to keep you small, and you deserve to play BIG.
4. Choose Love. What is the truth about you? What is a more positive affirmative truth about you as a beautiful human being on this earth?
5. Look for evidence to support that truth. What in your past and/or current events can support the new belief? This one can be challenging at times because your ego-mind may want to step in and keep you small. Even if you can find one example to support the truth of your new belief, that’s enough! And if you can’t find one… keep searching ’cause it’s there. I promise you!
Here are just a few examples of some limiting beliefs that are fairly common and the corrections (truth) beside them. Notice if any of them feel familiar.
- I am not enough- I AM enough
- I am unlovable- I AM lovable!
- I am not safe- I AM in fact safe
- I am not good enough- I AM good enough
- I am not smart enough- I AM smart enough
You don’t have to be perfect at this, but being curious about what’s really going on can significantly change how you show up in your life. Play BIG! Choose LOVE! Choose YOU!!!! I do.
Calgary Canada Life Coach Arianne Moore, the founder of Path of Tranquility Coaching for Women, helps clients worldwide