Finding myself again

 In empowered living

Empowered living takes all forms. Posting this onto the internet for all to see is super vulnerable for me and it allows me to step into a place of empowered living because I’m trusting my intuition to share. The following is an entry from my journal that I wrote earlier this year. I happened to come across it the other day and felt drawn to share it with the hopes that it might help someone else.

This morning, just before getting up, I reached over to the other side of the bed and remembered that I used to sleep there when I was married. I have been avoiding sleeping where I used to lay. I then started crying as I realized the sadness I still felt for the person that once slept there. My tears were not only shed for the adult self that was left heartbroken upon the breakdown of my marriage, but also for the part of me that carried deep wounds of a child.

At that moment I stretched across the bed onto my stomach and allowed grief to overtake me. I cried for the parts of me that I had abandoned, the beautiful pieces that made me a whole but didn’t feel acceptable to others. I wept over the parts of my soul that I negated and kicked away for fear that ‘they’ weren’t loveable parts. I have spent a lifetime abandoning myself, cutting parts of me off, hiding the things that I loved, wearing a mask and pushing my authentic pieces aside, all because I wanted to be loved and accepted. I wanted to fit in.

I started to repeat the words ‘ I am so sorry’ as I let the tears fall. I knew the grief was no longer due to the loss of my marriage anymore- this felt different. There was a different flavour, a realization that I lost myself and am now slowly putting ‘me’ back together.

As the grief started to leave something else took its place. I sat up in bed and placed my hands on my heart; feeling so alive. Tears of gratitude streamed down my face as I called all of those abandoned pieces back to me. I was destined to find myself again; this I did not doubt.

I have suffered many losses in my life, but to lose myself, that is the deepest sorrow of all. The rebuilding and recalling of myself – there’s no other feeling like it. It’s gentle and loving, it’s sorrowful and yet filled with more life than I could have imagined. Today I realized that maybe the only love that I truly need right now is my own. “

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Showing 13 comments
  • Jessica
    Reply

    This is beautiful and something I think I was ment to read today. Thank you for sharing ❤️

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Jessica, there are no accidents. If any part of this post resonated with you I hope you take it into your heart and make it your own. Thank you so much for reading it and for sharing that it mattered to you.
      Arianne xo

  • Vinny
    Reply

    Thanks for being so very vulnerable Arianne and for sharing your inner journey.

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Vinny, thank you so much for reading, holding space and following my journey. Support like this keeps me going!

      ~Arianne xo

  • audra
    Reply

    such a vulnerable and brave thing to do…thanks for letting us be a part of your sharing

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Hi Audra! Thank you for being a part of my journey and for being a brave warrior along side of me. You are an inspiration to me as well.

      ~Arianne xo

  • Terrie
    Reply

    You brought me to tears for yiur sorrow and mine as well. The tears are also grateful that i get to be on this journey with you.
    Omg Arianne,your such a beautiful soul. I remember the day i realized my biggest sorrow and pain was my non acceptance of myself. Ive been learning to love myself ever since. Your story has reminded me to allow myself to feel the sorrow which i still avoid.i will have more space for my love .i can ask the questions i need to ask. Thank you for your vulnerability .🌻🌻🌻

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Terrie, you’re so not alone on this journey, and I’m so thankful that I’m not alone on mine. Our shared tears can heal so much especially when we start to share them. Thank you for being a huge part of my journey, for being my fan and for cheering me on!

      Self-love and acceptance is a journey, but it’s one that we don’t have to do alone. Love you!

      ~Arianne xo

  • Kelly
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing Arianne! Vulnerability is a common human experience we all share but for many of us we go to great lengths to avoid letting others see that we are hurting and and afraid. Your bravery has inspired me to step out from hiding behind the fear and show my own vulnerability…

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Kelly, I fully support you to step out from hiding behind the fear! The world wants to see you and you deserve to be seen! Vulnerability leads to connection and you deserve to live a full life of authentic living and relationships. Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and for letting me see you here. xo

  • Vicki
    Reply

    Thank you for the share Arianne. My heart felt heavy until you acknowledged the feeling of putting yourself back together. Like you I have many pieces I hide or have buried so deep I don’t n me where to find them. And hearing someone acknowledge them, reminds me I can feel the pieces fall together and see just how amazing I am when all the pieces are present. Thank you Arianne for the beautiful soul you are.

    • Arianne Moore
      Reply

      Oh Vicki! It really does feel beautiful when we allow all of our ‘parts’ to be seen and heard. You deserve to fully show up, to love and be loved as all of you. Those pieces that are dug so deep inside of you will be found and discovered with continued work and I see you as a brave warrior goddess doing ‘the work’. Keep going! You’ve totally got this. Thank you for your continued support on my journey! The support I receive from other women keeps me going to do my own work when I just want to give up! xo

  • Sally
    Reply

    Oh Arianne! I know how hard you have worked, to go so deep to discover and find yourself. You truly are a treasure! To share so much of yourself, makes me realize I have to be brave enough to do the same. It seems easier to suppress, but , there are no rewards for that. Thanks you, special lady.

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